Fifty Shades of Grey Summary: A Nice Guy Story

July 5, 2015

I went to watch the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

I wanted to find out why it elicited so much interest in women of all ages, middle-aged women included.

The Fifty Shades of Grey summary goes like this: Anastasia, a student, goes to interview the rich Christian and there is attraction at first sight between the two.

In the movie Anastasia is a normal girl who presents herself as a naive, nice good girl. Anastasia is really not a ball-busting scary masculine woman; rather, she is nice and sweet.

When she – as an attracted woman does – begins to give Christian “relationship-seeking signals” he goes: “I do not do girlfriends” and he introduces her to his Master world.

What I found out actually did not surprise me that much. It also made me laugh a bit.

The guy who is supposed to be the “Master” of this sadomasochistic relationship is actually pretty much a nice guy and even a Mom’s boy. He would not scare even my cats.

Obviously female interest for the movie comes again out of the main conflict of the modern woman: how to be dominated by a man without actually being dominated. We are far, very far from the figure of dominant males living in the world of our fathers and grandfathers.

The unspoken agreement in the movie is that Christian is to Anastasia a Master that is not really a real Master, and over time she very quickly holds the cards.

Like many modern men he is assumed to be a Master while not really being one.

As things go on this guy is actually not even able to face her first drama outbursts and falls in love – totally emasculated – at the first signs of her emotional up and downs.

The facts are that Christian is actually pretty much a nice guy and cannot hold the psychological pressure connected with being with a feminine woman, in spite of all his ropes and handcuffs. If we compare him to the Master shown in Lars von Trier’s movie Nymphomaniac he really looks like a baby in comparison.

Female interest for the nice guy of Fifty Shades of Grey fulfills the secret ambivalent desire of the modern woman and gives her a chance of never even trying to solve it: a dominant man who is not “really dominant”.

The huge interest shown tells of one of the main conflicts existent in the modern female mind between submissive female sexuality and the war between genders, and a question comes to my mind: are the women aroused by the movie actually able to enjoy sex with a man who is strong and masculine but without ropes and handcuffs?

The interest comes from an attempt to solve a gender political conflict on the level of sadomasochistic sexuality: “How can I enjoy my sexuality with a man but in a way in which I do not need to take any responsibility for my openness and sexual receptiveness myself?”

“How can I feel the thrill of being dominated by a man but so that I am not openly asking for it?”

So what better than “forceful sexual receptiveness” to solve that conflict with a man who is only a “fake” Master?

What better than getting a nice guy to fulfill that role? He is so nice and he… forces me into sex!

The hidden desire of the modern woman: a nice guy who forces her into sexual receptiveness.

Personally I do not like S&M forceful sex. No judgmental attitude intended: it is a matter of taste. I understand that it can be a fun hobby for many.

I think that a heterosexual healthy male likes to feel that the woman is sexually receptive to him by her own will and desire. Having her mind and body is far more fulfilling than having “only the body”.

How To Deal With Jealousy

October 14, 2012

A Guide for the Modern High Status Man on how to deal with jealousy.

As a modern man, it is crucial for you to learn how to deal with jealousy. This article is for men who aspire to be high status men, and for men who are high status and want to stay that way.

­­Soon, I will discuss in another post the meaning of jealousy for women. It is completely different when compared to the meaning it has for men.

This text is about the meaning of jealousy in a man´s mind and how a man can deal with it. Jealousy is terribly status-lowering, and that is why we need to know how to deal with jealousy.

Each time you show jealousy toward a woman, you are only lowering your own value in her eyes and in the eyes of your social circle.

It reveals that your own concept of yourself is very negative, and that you are very worried about competition with other men.

There is a mutual balance of value in a relationship between a man and a woman.

When a sudden imbalance of value happens, there is always a lowering of sexual attraction in the primitive mind of the woman who is dating a man or in a relationship with him.

If the person of higher value is a narcissist, he or she will leave or begin to humiliate the person with the lower value.

If the person of higher value is a more or less balanced, normal person – like for example an average, feminine, and stable woman – there will be a lot of grief.

If grief is for some reason not possible, she will most definitely get some kind of depression. You do not want a depressed, self-sacrificing woman in your life. That is a very negative experience.

So, lowering your value as a man in her eyes can bring only one outcome: her respect and her attraction for you will go down at the speed of the light.

If she is with you “just to have fun together¨, her fun will become boredom very quickly, and you will lose her.

If she is with you because she truly likes you and is devoted to you, she first will try to “rationalize” your jealousy in her mind, and then her love and attraction for you will begin to fade when she sees the truth about you from her rationalizations.

Her rationalization may be total nonsense, such as “He is jealous because he loves me” or… “There is no love without jealousy” or… “He is a strong man, and he wants to own the woman he loves”, and so on.

Total nonsense.

This downward spiral can be a process of months, or even years, and it is unavoidable if you constantly show her that you are jealous of other males; because the primitive mind of a woman is hard-wired to respect and be sexually attracted to men who are sure of themselves and truly believe themselves to be the best.

Even if she is as good as Mother Theresa, what will really happen in her mind, in spite of her rationalizations, is that she will lose her respect for you as a man, as well as her devotion towards you.

How do deal with jealousy?

This guide will give you a new perspective about jealousy, and the tools necessary to totally dominate it in yourself.

In order to control jealousy, you will need to first have a clear vision of what jealousy is.

Without a clear comprehension of what jealousy is, it will be very difficult for you to rule over it in yourself.

When you have achieved that clear understanding, you will be able to control jealousy by learning a technique to increase awareness, which I will share with you.

This technique includes mirroring, pacing yourself on the instinct in order to avoid acting on the instinct itself.

The first and most important thing is that there is a big difference between an “instinct” and a “problem.”

You will be able to mirror yourself, pace yourself, and control jealousy only on the condition that you fully understand the difference between an “instinct” and a “problem.”

Truly understanding the real nature of jealousy:

Psychoanalysis has produced large amounts of very useful and valid knowledge, but in regard to jealousy has failed to understand its real nature, what is at the true core of jealousy.

Jealousy is not a “problem” to solve.

It is an instinct, and a normal part of the wide range of instincts we have that are actually meant to protect life.

An instinct is usually a good thing, and it becomes a problem only when:

– You are not in touch enough with the emotional consequences of the instinct on your behavior, and the instinct translates into action in a way that damages you.

– The intensity of the instinct is far too strong compared to what the average person feels, or much stronger than average.

When you are dealing with an instinct, you cannot say, “This happens to me because I have a problem with my mother, and I am too attached to her.”

You cannot say, “I am jealous of her because my father has castrated me, I have an Oedipus complex, and for this reason I am jealous of other males.”

That “may” be true, but it is only a part of the truth and will not help you much in regard to how to deal with jealousy.

When you understand the real nature of jealousy, as explained here, you will see that stating the above is as absurd as saying, “I am hungry because I have a childhood problem” or “I defend myself against an attack because of a problem with my mother.”

The psychoanalytical approach may not be enough to help you with instincts because your brain will again and again tend to have you act on them as they are meant to protect your life or the life of your offspring.

These other factors connected with your childhood or your relationships may play an important role, but they are not the very core of your jealousy.

Your instinct of jealousy is not meant to damage you, it is meant to support your efforts in continuing life and the life of your species.

What is an instinct? It is something much more radical and deeper when compared to a psychological problem, more connected with the primitive part of your brain we call the “reptile brain.”

An instinct is a primitive function of your mind that ¨blindly¨ drives you to repeat the same behavior again and again and again in a very mechanical, repetitive way.

Why do we have primitive functions in our minds?

Simple. They are automatisms meant to create and maintain life, and the more they tend to maintain life, the stronger their effect on your behavior is.

As such, they are not “bad”, as they exist in order to fulfill important functions.

Another important feature of instincts is that the less we have experience in the area of life connected with the instinct, the more they are unconscious to us.

For example, a veteran soldier who has been fighting in Afghanistan or Iraq definitely has a better understanding of the survival instinct compared to another man who has never been in combat.

With jealousy, the real problem has been for centuries that we did not actually know the reason for its existence.

Now we know the reason for the existence of jealousy, and that is why I can write this article to help you.

When Nature creates an instinct, it does not have always in mind the interest of an individual (You), it very often has in mind the preservation of life in a broader sense.

So, to understand jealousy, you need to take a broader look, “out of the box” of your personal interest, outside of what you might think it is best for you consciously.

When you do that, it will be much easier to control the instinct of jealousy.

The human being is a pretty proud animal. The human being really does not like the idea that something could control him.

The truth is: many instincts control our behavior, and without those instincts, life on the planet would have ended a long time ago.

For example, when people say, “My wife got pregnant by accident; pregnancy prevention failed” what the reptile brain, the primitive part of your brain is actually saying is:

“The instinct of life prevailed, and I have a wonderful baby coming into this world.”

So the “accident” is nothing more than backward rationalization of what the instinct actually had you do.

We cannot make rational choices about everything, and what seems to us “irrational¨ quite often supports life in a broader sense.

So in order for you to understand jealousy and how you can control it, we need to answer this question: What is the purpose of jealousy from the point of view of Nature?

Simple: it is preserved in evolution because it creates a strong feeling of competition between males in order to impregnate a woman.

What makes jealousy very “nasty” is that actually it does not express itself directly, it expresses itself through the channel of your sexual desire, your sexual instinct.

More about this further in this article.

So what is the real nature of jealousy in males?

It compels; it forces males to “run” in order to impregnate women.

It is a little bit like the former Soviet Union´s military police. They shot their own soldiers in cases where they did not run fast enough against the enemy.

Nature acts a little bit like a mix of an investor and a marketer.

An investor spreads investments into several different directions in order to maximize profits and minimize risks.

A marketer runs marketing tests on several groups of people and then checks the response. Then the marketer builds the marketing on the basis of the response of a particular group.

So when Nature gives you green eyes, brown eyes to someone else, and blue eyes to another, it is simply testing the response and over time decides what to preserve.

Yes, Darwin was right, and there is more…

The news is that this behavior of Nature does not affect only physical qualities like the color of the eyes, the shape of the muscles, or height.

It also affects psychological, cognitive qualities and the instincts and qualities of the brain.

Yes, instincts are not the same in quality and degree in all individuals. They have varying degrees of intensity and different qualities in different individuals.

Without this ¨unfair¨ mechanism of spreading different qualities into different directions, there would be no progress of the organisms, and life would probably end.

I will not get into the details of the scientific background of what I am writing here.

If you are interested, a good book you can read on this topic is The Dangerous Passion, by David H. Buss. You can find a review here.

The purpose of this post is practical.

It is meant to help the Modern Man to learn how to rule over the instinct of jealousy.

How to deal with jealousy: awareness of the instinct, mirroring the instinct.

As a human being, you probably are not completely conscious of the role your instincts have on your behavior, with the side note that you may be “more conscious” compared to another when you have more experience.

In spite of that, we all underestimate the strength of our instincts; they are built in purpose to act “behind the curtains.”

Now, the technique to control jealousy I am going to describe is meant to avoid the most dangerous outcome for you that will always damage you in your relationships with women in our modern society: acting on it, when you say or do something under the influence of the instinct of jealousy.

There is a mismatch between the instinct and the reality of the Modern Man. Instincts evolve very slowly. The mismatch is: acting on the instinct of jealousy has absolutely no positive outcome anymore in regard to the interests of a Modern Man.

So our goal here is to help you feel the instinct without acting on it.

We have always two components when dealing with an instinct; for example, hunger:

1. The emotion, sensations, and feelings connected with the instinct; for example, the emotions, sensations and feelings connected with hunger.

2. Action: for example with hunger action is when you eat under the influence of the instinct; action is when you hunt under the influence of the instinct.

In order to avoid the deleterious outcome of the instinct of jealousy, you can do this:

– Mirror, pace yourself on the feelings and emotions connected with jealousy. When you do that, it increases your awareness, and it reduces the risk of acting on it.

For example, you see a beautiful woman, and if you are an experienced man and in touch with the emotions and feelings you feel as a sexually active male, you pace yourself and think, “Ohh…she is so beautiful, I could have her naked and make love with her.”

A less experienced young man may at that point act on the instinct and maybe blush or begin to tremble, or maybe approach her in a socially unfavorable situation.

The less experience you have, the more you act on the instinct.

– Reframe the instinct into a positive so as to enjoy it. This also reduces the risk of acting on the instinct but…

– The third and most important thing to realize is that when you are jealous that happens are horny.

Yes, the instinct of jealousy is built so that it comes out each time you are being sexually aroused, and especially if you felt in love with the woman.

Falling in love is also very much physical and has many purposes in regard to the evolutionary instincts, which I will write about in another article later on.

The purpose of Nature with the jealousy instinct is in fact to arouse you sexually and have you – at the same time – willing to impregnate a woman because of the fear that if you do not fight for your territory, someone else will, and will impregnate the woman instead of you.

Powerful, isn´t it? And by all means against the best interest of any Modern Man in developed countries because it has you become a wimp in the eyes of your women, and by doing that, lowers your sexual and personal value in their eyes.

What is pacing, mirroring yourself?

– You need to learn to act as a mirror on the sensations and feelings connected with jealousy, and acknowledge it. This is done by ¨talking gently¨ to yourself and describing the instinct to yourself. For example:

¨I am jealous now.¨

Women do this all the time. You can learn this art from them. They “enjoy” emotions in order to avoid acting on them. Men have been for centuries educated to either act or repress themselves.

Pacing yourself: “I feel that my woman could have sex with another man.”

Pacing yourself: “She probably would enjoy having sex with another man.”

This works if you describe it to yourself in a very rich way; saying, ¨I am jealous now¨ is not enough. You need to mirror it to yourself and describe it to yourself like this: ¨I am jealous now; probably I am very aroused right now, and I have sexual thoughts about my woman. I feel that she might be aroused by another man.”

Also, learn to describe the physical sensations you feel, like saying, “I can imagine how much fun she would have when she would be taken by him; I can feel this in my chest or belly” and so on.

Stay where you are, pace yourself, mirror the instinct and…do nothing. The damage does not come from the instinct. It comes from acting on it!

The goal of the mirroring, pacing is to give a channel of discharge to the instinct and reduce the risk that you might act on it.

– Positive reframing: Another thing you need to do in order to control jealousy is to frame it in your mind no longer as a ¨problem¨, and then try to ¨solve it¨. Pacing yourself is the step where you take time to delay action…when you mirror yourself, pacing yourself on the instinct creates a delay and moves action forward.

Positive reframing: Then you begin to think all the good things about the instinct itself, as in the case of hunger. For example, ¨This jealousy is a good thing; it is the voice of Nature telling me that it wants children, that I desire women, that I want to take them in order to procreate, and if she would have sex with me or with another man, wonderful nice children would be born; we would enjoy the pleasure, she would enjoy the pleasure, everyone would be happy.¨

This technique achieves, as a result, the elimination of the action part, acting on the instinct, which is the real problem, and when your mind gets into the loop of “I am jealous, and how can I stop that?” your are even more stuck in the mud. You are in a loop where you have a “problem” and now you are trying to “solve it”, and this has your mind think even more about the jealous feelings; in a word you hypnotically condition yourself to be jealous and still think of jealousy.

In the case of jealousy, the action part is when you begin to do stupid things like asking her if is she flirting with the guy sitting at the table in front of you, or if is she having an affair with your co-worker, thus showing that you do not believe in yourself and your value as a man.

The real problem is not the instinct: it is what you do or say under the influence of it. The action part is what we want to inhibit.

The worst kind of thinking that can have you up to your neck in the mud is exactly the process of thinking “I am jealous, how can I stop this?” Then you think about jealousy all the time as a problem, and that makes you even more jealous.

– Strength of your male sexual instinct and jealousy:  Jealousy is highly misleading because it uses another vehicle to express itself. Remember that each time you feel a sense of jealousy toward a woman it means that – at that precise moment – you are under the effect of a huge sexual desire. The more passionate you are as a man, the stronger the feeling can be.

All that makes you aware of your sexual desire reduces jealousy. Jealousy in the relationship with your sexual desire is little bit like a bird flying on the wing of a bigger bird…

That is why having experience with women is so important: the more experienced you are, the more you are in touch and have awareness of your own sexual desire moment by moment, and by linking that experience to the knowledge of what I am sharing with you here, you can really addomesticate jealousy and make it your puppy dog.

Beware: I am not trying to change you into a nice guy here.

When you put into practice what I am describing here, by becoming totally unaffected by jealousy, you will achieve that laid back attitude a man needs to show to his women that he is not affected in the slightest way by competition with other men.

That is one of the single most important factors in increasing your value in her eyes!

Jealousy was already a big problem for men in patriarchal society, and it is an even bigger problem in those societies that are not patriarchal anymore, as in many Western countries, because it makes you dependent on a particular woman.

Fully controlling jealousy makes you a strong man, a man who will be able to have women chase him, and not the other way around.

How To Recognize "Fake" Female Sexual Free-Mindedness

March 12, 2012

This is about dating, and how for a modern man it is very important to learn to recognize “fake” female free-mindedness.

Like every man, you surely like women who are sexually receptive and open to enjoying sex.

Anyway, not all that glitters is gold. You need to learn to recognize the women who are for real about this, and the women who try to sell you “air” in matters of sexuality because they have some other end goal in mind.

There is a “fake” female sexual free-mindedness that you need to recognize, and which is “hysterical” in nature.

We live in a society where the female body is shown everywhere: you can see beautiful naked women in commercials, television, and in books.

Maybe she is the wonderful sexy blond who is showing you the last technical details of a new laptop. Maybe she is the wonderful hot brunette who is telling you, with the reinforcement of a short skirt and a pair of gorgeous sexy legs, the financial details of your new insurance.

Don´t be fooled!

In my home town they used to say, “If a dog bites, it does not shout.”

“Fake” sexual free-mindedness has to be suspected in the following situations:

– If she is clearly “showing off” and comes out as “too blatant” in her sexual sub-communication. This is where you have to suspect “fake” sexual free mindedness in her. A woman who is really sexual is “naturally” sexual and totally relaxed about it. She is for real about it. She does not need to “show off.”

– The display of sexuality is intended to get her way on a topic that interests her. This can be a material thing, like maybe your financial support of even an intellectual or emotional goal. She may be sexual because she wants you to become her “male girlfriend” and share with her all the possible topics of the deep relationship she has with her cat, with whom she has lived alone since her last boyfriend left her. Suspect “fake” sexuality if you meet a woman who is trying to be over-sexual in order to gain a material or emotional advantage from you.

– She is overtly sexual, and at the same time tries very early on to dominate you, and lead you in the interaction. Especially if she tries to fight for a “one-up-man-ship” you can be dead sure that what seems to be a very interesting and sexual woman is actually…a fake.

– Overt sexual behavior combined with resisting rapport with you. If a woman is being overtly sexual and she resists rapport when you try to reach her on the more emotional and sensitive topics, she is a fake. Women that are really of sexual nature get aroused by rapport; that is not a turn-off for them.

– Overt sexual behavior and introduction of gender political topics into the conversation from her very early on, and especially if unrelated to topic of your conversation and inappropriate to the stage of your relationship with her. If she is being overtly sexual and discussing topics connected with gender politics, you can be dead sure that her overt sexual behavior is fake.

– Overt sexual behavior, and introducing too early on and in too much of a massive way, topics like “saving the world, helping little children, or the poor, the disabled, or the oppressed.” If the topic of “saving people and saving the world” is connected with overt sexual behavior, you can be sure that her overt sexual behavior will soon bring you to sexual starvation, so…it´s a fake.

A truly sexual woman is receptive, and has a “no nonsense approach” to her own desires… 

Why do you need to avoid women who exhibit this “fake” sexual desire? Simple: it changes very, very quickly into no sex at all. Sometimes as fast as after the first meeting with her, or the same day.

If she does this, politely excuse yourself by saying that you suddenly got a headache and need to leave.

Men Do Not Talk About Feelings? Really? Drama Explained

December 19, 2011

You have heard this so many times.

You probably have heard your wife or your girlfriend saying this to you, or worse…your lover saying this when talking about her former husband or boyfriend.

This statement sounds like these, or a version of them:

“Men do not talk about feelings; they do not express emotions.”

“You know, he is a man, he can’t speak about emotions.”

This one I heard recently while having a coffee break with a beloved girlfriend of mine:

“Men are such simple creatures.”

Is this true?

Well, I am not that sure…

After having read this article, you will – as a man – feel much better about the topic of “expressing feelings” and being a man.

I am about to take away some useless guilt and shame from you guys.

A broader look into what “expressing feeling and emotions” really means would reassure many of you, and that is why I am willing to share this with you.

So, let’s first have a look into what “expressing feelings” really is.

At the simplest level, our mind works so that the emotional part of the brain “feels emotions”, and the logical part of it – where the centers for the verbal expression reside – puts the emotions into words.

Proper expression of feelings does not depend on how much we talk.

It depends mainly on how well we use words much more than how much we talk.

Words are a quite imperfect way of expressing emotions.

Richard Bandler was very well aware of this when he wrote that, “language is a quite poor instrument for describing inner experience.”

Now we have more than one way of demonstrating our own inability to express emotions.

One way is – due to the anti-male propaganda so present in the media in many western countries – much better known:

It is silence.

When we are not sure about our inner emotional experience, we may simply be silent.

This is the way preferred by men: silence, but….it really does not mean that there aren’t feelings there!


There is another less known way of showing total inability to express feelings, and that is drama.

Drama is basically the same as being hysterical on the level of verbal expression of emotions.

Mainly due to intensive emotional “highs” and “lows”, a person may use 5000 words in a totally chaotic way to describe what  could be expressed precisely with just 10 words well put into place!

This second alternative is the way women may demonstrate their inability to express feelings.

Now, the next time you are blamed of being a man who is not able to express his emotions, just say..

“Do you mean precise expression of emotions, or something else?” then hug her and go on about your business.

High Status Man

Meaning Of Envy

September 4, 2011

How To Protect Yourself Against Envy

As a high status man you must learn to protect yourself from envious people. The most importaant meaning of envy is: they are dangerous.

It is easier for an envious person to jum off a bridge than to admit to envying. An envious person will poison you, lie to you, and spread rumors about you. They will try to destroy whatever comes to them if they know it came from you.

The first step to protecting yourself from envious people is to be able to pick out who they are.When you have status, intelligence, and charisma, you stand out like flies on a horse’s tail. This is the real meaning of envy!

An envious person can pick you out within five seconds. They can pick you out, hate you, and go on to plan your downfall, all within a few minutes of seeing you for the first time.

Once envy is discovered, there is not much that the person can do to you; however, that “not much” is like a nightmare.You must be able to walk into a room and pick upon envy as fast as possible. You must be able to catch envy from it’s very beginning.

If you only recognize envy and the meaning of envy when people begin to act on it, you are too late. Because if a person is already trying to bring you down and is turning others all around you towards hate, then he is already acting out his envy.

Rule number one about the meaning of envy: never help a person that envies you.When you do that, you show magnanimity and other good qualities that will only make the person’s envy stronger and enhance the attacks against you.

By definition, an envious person is unable to feel grateful for any good things received, and reacts to this with anger and a desire to destroy you.Robert Greene’s “The 48 Laws of Power” made it very clear: “Do not try to do favors for those who envy you; they will think you are condescending to them.” He explained so well in this statement the true meaning of envy.

Don’t take what the envious person does or says seriously; the more you are reactive to it, the more the envious person will succeed to harm you.A badly envious person is not able to have a cooperative relationship with you based on fair exchange, and for this reason, simply don’t bother to find any answers to his or her questions.

You are better off focusing on something else productive, instead of trying to answer the envious person’s questions. If you do not need to share the same place with the envious person, then the best thing you can do is the same as with cancer: early detection and removal!

Simply quit all interaction with the envious person as soon as possible. This may seem a tough way of dealing with it, but believe me, it’s the only one which will save you from a lot of pain!

If you are obliged by the circumstances to stay in the same place with a person who is envious of you, then try to reduce the interaction with the person to the minimum necessary.

And make sure to not be involved in cooperation with the envious person in any activity that is important to you!By definition, if you are a high status man any person who is badly envious of you will have only one goal in mind, and that will be to destroy you at any cost.

You can prevent that by simply cutting the envious person out of your life. Never forget this when evaluating the meaning of envy in an envious person.No other cure is as effective.

High Status Man

How To Avoid Negative People And Why

April 25, 2011

As a high status man something you should really know is why to avoid negative people and how.

You as a man have almost probably been educated to be “tough” which is good in situations where you need toughness to cope with difficulties.

On the other hand there are situations where being tough and persistent can really, really harm your interests.

Relationships with negative people are a good example of this: with them the best policy is not toughness, it is retreating.

Why you need to get rid of negative people?

It is because words affect your brain on the longer term.

It is very well known in psychology how rich verbal descriptions affect the brain.

A verbal description of a negative mind status affects through words your brain like a virus: it builds into your mind the same emotions and feelings connected with the negative thinking of the other person.

This is why you need to avoid contact with negative people.

How do you recognize negative people? You can do that by paying attention to their focus and the structure of their speech.

A negative person will have his focus on failure and pain. The content of his thinking will be filled with pain and failure. His/her actions will be directed to achieve pain and failure.

A good and easy way to detect a negative person is to follow how much and how often the negation is present in their speech.

“I do not understand this person”

“I cannot believe this could be true”

“I don´t like this”

Instead of:

“I think I understand the way this person thinks”

“I believe this is for surely true”

“I like very much this”

The focus of a negative person is on what it is not instead of having a focus on what it is or could be better.

When you detect this kind of negative thinking the best thing you can do is to withdraw from the communication with this person.

In a word: leave the person alone. It will not get any better.

Apply this to business relationships, friends and love relationships and you will achieve more energy and happiness in your life!

High Status Man

Financially Hunted Men

March 16, 2011

If you are a successful man and plan to get married, beware, because you may well be “financially hunted.”

For some time I have been following the saga of Mel Gibson versus Oksana Griegorieva.

Something was simply not making sense to me. How could such a strong and successful man like Mel show such a massive lack of control?

This is a good example of why you should never, ever lose control of yourself.

Control over yourself is your best asset. Losing control in a situation with a woman like Mel did can seriously jeopardize your security and your assets.

If you are going to be in a relationship with a beautiful woman, you had better be used to beauty, or you may be in danger.

This morning I was browsing the Atlanta page of, and I read some very shocking news on Mel’s and Oksana’s ongoing story. (Examiner´s source: “Oksana Grigorieva Gets Money For Tapes in Settlement Agreement  with Mel Gibson,”

Of course we can’t know for sure if what the article says is true. But, if it is true, then it’s another example of a financially hunted man!

According to TMZ news, Oksana made an agreement that she would turn over tapes and recordings she made of Mel, for a profit. The agreement reportedly included a million-dollar payout, payable on receipt of all recordings, audio tapes, emails, text messages, videotapes, and photographs of Mel Gibson.

She was also going to get a million-dollar life insurance policy on her former lover, as well as rights in a Getty picture deal on the two, though the financial details of the deal are unknown. She profited $17,112 from the album Mel produced and helped promote. She also requested $10,000 per month for 18 years, starting January 1, 2011.

Oksana was also going to oversee the following benefits for their daughter: a sum of $50,000 a year for 20 years, college expenses amounting to $10,000 a year for 20 years, another $4,000 a month of child support in addition to what Oksana was already getting, and a life insurance payout to their daughter in the amount of $4.3 million when Mel died.

The L.A. County Sheriff’s office has been given a copy of a document from Mel’s legal team, confirming what Mel said all along; that Oksana was simply trying to get more money out of him.

Link to original article

High Status Man

Did Julian Assange Seduce, or Was He Seduced In Stockholm?

March 8, 2011

I did not closely follow the WikiLeaks story. Like other similar stories, I do not have a completely clear vision of WikiLeaks, and what is connected to it.

There are many obscure aspects of the story, and it is very difficult to know what really happened; what is true and what is not.

However, what happened to Julian Assange in Stockholm during his short adventure with two Swedish women is crystal clear to me.

The story is clear proof of how important it is for a high-status man to have the mastery of two important skills:

Never losing control of your frame: Even if you are tremendously in love, and are having the adventure of your life, never, never give up control over the frame of your interaction with anyone!

Screening women properly: You cannot be in a short or long-term relationship with a woman who is not sexually receptive in a joyful and positive way to you as a man.

Ignoring this fact will for certainly spell trouble for you.

You should be able to screen a woman for an inability to love men, and be sexually receptive, within the first twenty minutes of your conversation with her, and then rapidly direct your ship towards more pleasant seas.

There is absolutely no point staying in a place where your humanity as a man is not accepted.

When you want to relax from your mission or goal, you should actively screen for women who truly love men.

When he is on leave from his mission, the warrior wants to have a chance to rest. Men want rest so they can focus their maximum energy on their mission.

The ability to focus intensively on one mission or goal is one of the most important skills men have.

Another important rule for a modern, high-status male is to never, ever mix your mission, your desire, and your feelings with one another.

The mission always comes first. No hard feelings involved!

Our fathers and our grandfathers knew this principle very well. Why would you not want to be at their same level?

A man dedicated to his mission never loses control over his frame.

This is a rule.

Being able to screen women quickly is an extremely important skill.

When you screen for women who hate men, and cannot be sexually and emotionally receptive to you, you are harming yourself and also doing harm to other men.

When you choose to be with a woman who hates men, you are simultaneously excluding from your life other women who truly love men.

You should always be the selector.

You should never be selected.

You alone are responsible for your choices.

Being a real man is a lonely business.

Julian Assange´s story in Stockholm indicates that being selected is not only bad business for a man, but also a very dangerous business.

A little bit of paranoia a la Woody Allen can protect your health and your sanity; just a little bit, but not too much.

Seducing two women who are friends with each other behind their backs, and without controlling the frame of what is happening is fairly boyish behavior.

It indicates a lack of confidence on your behalf, as you are telling the woman that you are scared of her judgment.

If you do not believe in exclusivity, then be a real man and say that clearly and directly to your women.

We live in a society where, for the sake of “freedom” and “independence,” sexual and emotional exclusivity is presented by the media as something old-fashioned and ridiculous.

We live in a society of the unbearable lightness of being. If you believe in exclusive relationships you are right. If you do not believe in exclusive relationships you are also right.

Everyone is “right” in a modern and democratic, pluralistic society.

So long as you do not break the law, you are in the right.

So why do things behind peoples’ backs?

If you want to be exclusive, then wisely choose your woman.

If you do not want to be exclusive, be straight and direct about that, and again, choose your women wisely.

By doing this, you are establishing yourself as the selector from the beginning, and that is safe.

If Julian had clearly told the Swedish girl that he was not interested in exclusive relationships, then the encounter might have lasted only twenty minutes.

They would have left the bar and gone their own separate ways without harming each other in any way.

Julian was lonely and in need of support, and he was looking for that support in the wrong place.

He believed that he was among people who shared his ideals, and he let his guard down.

In this aspect, I empathize with Julian, and I think many other men do as well; regardless of their political positions on what he did as WikiLeaks founder.

He felt that he was dealing with people who supported him, and who shared similar ideals.

The problem is, you cannot give control of your frame to others when you are on a mission.

Ask for support, but never lose control over your frame.

There are many safer ways of visiting a new city without losing control over your frame, even if you do have the CIA chasing you.

He lost control over his frame and made a major screening mistake. The girl who accused him of rape is a Christian feminist.

If he would have first spent some time in a bar listening to her story, perhaps he would have rather spent his remaining time somewhere other than her apartment.

The basic idea behind the Swedish law is right. Not stopping when the other wants to, even in the middle of sexual contact, is an offence.

The fact is that the same law can also be used to accuse an innocent person of something that cannot be easily proved in a court of law, unless you were to always have a witness assist in your sexual encounters.

From the point of view of a man, the central issue is: be more careful about with whom you spend your time, especially when you are on an important mission.

The woman in question was a gender equity officer at the University. She has deeply “Christian” values towards men, and she has been publishing a blog post titled “7 Steps To Revenge”, in which she gives advice on how a woman who has been cheated on can get revenge on a man.

What I believe happened is this: he did not seduce the two girls, but was seduced by them, especially by the girl who had him as a guest in her apartment.

He began the seduction, but over time he was seduced. He lost control over his frame because he liked the girls too much.

If he would have spent some time looking a little more deely into her personality, he probably would have detected that this woman had only one mission: to make men feel guilty for being heterosexual males.

When you lose control over your frame, when you fail to properly screen your female mates, and you when you are not the selector, you are not seducing: you are being seduced and selected.

That is what we men should learn from what happened to Julian Assange in Stockholm. Never lose the frame of the selector, and never let anything get control over your frame and your mission!

A high-status man is dedicated to his mission before all else.

Incidentally, Stockholm is one of the most open-minded towns in the world. There are many swingers clubs, and the people are very democratic and open to diversity, judging from the number of clubs dedicated to sexual minorities.

When you are on your mission, you can, and should, focus on spending your time with women who truly love men.

With proper training, you can detect this trait simply by having a twenty-minute conversation with a woman in a bar, and before you accept a guest invitation from her.

High Status Man